If you're wondering why you've not seen me on Skype, it's because Dubai seems to have blocked the service completely.

If you're wondering if I'm still driving the borrwed company pick-up, I am. I'm thinking now of getting a Ford Focus, which means I might as well be wearing a T-shirt that says "I have no gonads."

If you're wondering whree I'm living, I'm staying in the spare room of a friend. It's been dire and dismal and depressing, with multiple false alarms when it comes to finding a decent place to call home.

If you're wondering what's the most exciting thing I've done lately, I'm not sure what to tell you. Let's see. On Saturday, I went on a booze run to the liquor store in one of the neighboring emirates, Umm al Quwain, where it's legal to buy alcohol. I can now make Harvey Wallbangers. I am ashamed to say that's the first time I've been to any other part of the UAE, except for that broadcasters' conference I went to in Abu Dhabi.

If you're wondering what's the most exciting thing I've not done lately, I guess it would have to be the thing that I didn't do with the man from County Clare I met at a bar. An interesting guy -- he's been a session percussionist for Pink Floyd and is friends with David Gilmour. After several drinks he used an expression with me that I wasn't overly familiar with. I don't remember what it was exactly but it had the word "pants" in it. He explained that it means, "I would love to give you a blow job." I can't for the life of me remember the expression.