Thursday, March 18, 2004

Well, well ,well.

You know, I was going to tell a little story about my friend Sam, who's in a big fight with this guy Bob, and then Bob's alleged "friend" Rob announced that he really doesn't want Sam's friend Pedro to go jump off a cliff. So shouldn't Pedro jump off the cliff? If Pedro doesn't jump off that cliff, isn't that a victory for Bob and Rob? (Actually I think it all started when Sam, Pedro and Nigel broke into Bob's house. But Bob was a evil bastard anyway, and just to complicating things more, so is Rob...)

I don't blame you for not following. You see, I was going to tell that story, but I'm not, because I just saw this.

Apparently the Al Qaeda-linked group claiming to have carried out the Madrid attacks say they definitely don't want John Kerry to win in November. Indeed, they've endorsed Bush. They say Bush's "idiocy and religious fanaticism" would "wake up" the Islamic world, which is exactly what they want. The money quote: "We are not going to find a bigger idiot than you."

There you have it: A vote for Bush is a vote for Al Qaeda. Case closed. (Yes, welcome to the Andrew Sullivan school of logic.)

Of course, it's a bit too good to be true. In fact, this group probably had nothing to do with the bombing. Remember, they also claimed responsibility for the U.S. power blackout.

But still, it's a bit odd that all those people decrying the Spaniards for their alleged "truce" with Al Qaeda (announced by the same group, in the same email, I think) haven't picked up on this one. (Yes, I mean you, NicMoc!)

P.S. No wait. It must be a trick. They're saying we should vote for Bush deliberately to make us not re-elect Bush.... Nuh-huh. Anybody who saw The Princess Bride knows this is the oldest trick in the book. They're deliberately trying to make us think that they secretly want us to re-elect Bush, so that we'll re-elect Bush in an attempt foil their plan, when in fact they really want us not to re-elect Bush after all....

Say, where's the nearest cliff, anyway?


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