Oh my! I almost forgot to tell you.
Reason I'm Here:
Sister's wedding to a man named Bob, a very nice Bob-like man who, like my entire extended family, hails from the Greater Boston area, at a conference center in the woods of Rhode Island called "Whispering Pines."
Funniest Moment During The Ceremony:
The minister's doing the repeat-after-me thing, and when she says "through hardships and triumphs," the groom says "through hahdships
and triumphs." My parents, in the front row, both start snickering visibly.
It's Not A Wedding Unless A Family Member Gets Drunk And Makes A Fool Of Himself:
That's where I come in. No, it wasn't a slurred and rambling toast. It was the beige suit that my Uncle Ken gave me about three years ago -- a three-piecer he bought in 1980. After I took in the flared leg, it fit me perfectly, and it's just enough on the respectable side of clownish to wear to weddings. At a certain point in any wedding reception, inevitably the DJ plays "Staying Alive." You can guess the rest. I knew my personality was getting out of control when the wedding photographer ran out onto the floor to start snapping pictures of me...
Most Pleasing Sign-Of-The-Times-In-Massachusetts Revelation:
My family's local minister came down to Rhode Island to perform an excellent (as far as these things go) New Englandy Protestant non-religious religious wedding service (i.e. something along the lines of, "Gee, what is
this God thing we keep hearing about, and what's it have to do with Christine and Bob meeting on Match.com? Aw shucks, who really knows, but gosh it sure feels good, doesn't it? As Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians..."), is now an out-of-the-closet lesbian. Not only that, she brought her new partner, who is also a minister, for whom she just left her husband and kids, to the reception. When I left the U.S.A. in 1996, this might have passed for shocking. By the way, my parents' high school buddies, including one former Pentagon employee and a Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Air Force, can really
cut a rug when "YMCA" comes on, which, if you ever really listen to the words, is about the gayest song ever